the One

We met on a plane (aisle seats) going to Atlantic City.  I told my mom I thought he was the “most arrogant man I had ever met” (however, I could NOT stop thinking about him).

Mom knew at that moment he was “the One”.

We reconnected at a pageant where he was the judge and I was the contestant.  We secretly dated for 2 months until after Miss Oklahoma, and then continued dating another 2 years.  He was establishing himself with his career, meaning late hours. I had my Associates and was completing my Bachelors commuting to Tahlequah 3 mornings a week before work and taking 3 night classes after work at University Center through NSU.  Although our time together was limited and sometimes strained, we knew where our relationship was leading.  As with every other twenty something woman, I realized time was passing quickly on auto pilot. I was getting a little antsy; not only wondering IF this was going to happen, but was I sure it was going to happen with the right person, and were we right together.

We were at his house one evening.  I remember we were on opposite couches. He was quietly reading. I was laying down staring blankly at the TV, not paying attention to what was going on around me. I was very upset about something that was weighing on me heavily. I knew better than to say anything because if I did, it would be a tearful mess.  He asked what was wrong, and I did my best to smile and tell him I was having a “melancholy” kind of day with an appeasing glance.  This is what I did best…keeping things in and hidden.  I had a smile that no one could get through and I knew I played that card very well.

I remember he picked up the remote and turned off the television.  He came over by me and sat on the floor.  He made me look at him while he spoke to me in a tone I had never heard before in the 2 years we had dated.

“I know something is wrong.   You can’t fool me anymore. I am not going to move until you tell me what is going on.  I’m here to listen.”

That was when I knew this was the man I was going to marry. 

No one ever invested their time with me in that way before. No one ever called me on my smile….and most certainly, no man (besides my twin brother) had ever taken the time to listen to what I had to say with genuine concern. The man I initially and wrongfully described as “arrogant” proved himself otherwise. That was when I knew he had my heart completely.

He told me to set aside a Friday night in October because we were going on a date.  It was a casual evening, by my request.  I was exhausted and school was getting the best of me.  I was almost going to cancel, but I decided getting out might do some good.  He took me downtown to a building I did not recognize.  He pulled me up some stairs to the top of the building, and there was a helicopter fueled and “engine- ready” for a flight around Tulsa.  We flew over LaFortune (where most of our dates were spent, going on late night runs together), ORU (where the Miss Oklahoma pageant was held), the airport (where we first met), his house… among other places.  In the moment, I did not realize the pilot was directed to go everywhere that meant something special to us as a couple.  Then, over the speaker in our headphones, he told me to look over to my right at TU stadium. The helicopter dropped down a bit and hovered.

In huge letters on the brand new jumbotron play screen….

“Erin”

“Will you marry me”

 “Kendall”.

I remember turning back to him, and there he was with a nervous smile, another beautiful proposal and a ring. It was completely surreal.  He literally swept me off my feet.  I remember tears of complete awe of the thoughtful effort he put into his proposal…

…because I was “the One”.

Fifteen years ago on June 22^nd , I said “I do”.

At our reception, I sang a song to my husband in front of a 10- piece brass band and an alto saxophone.  I was standing right in front of him.  It felt like just the two of us, like no one else was in the room.  He got a little embarrassed realizing the expression on his face and his demeanor; smiling and blushing because yes, people were indeed watching.  Thinking back on the lyrics, it was such a telling foresight to what we would experience and certainly accomplish through highs and lows, dreams and doubts, children, careers and making our decision to stay together, when we could have easily drifted apart.

”When somebody loves you, you’re no good unless they love you all the way;

Happy to be near you, when you need someone to cheer you all the way.

Taller than the tallest tree is, that’s how it’s got to be.

Deeper than the deep blue sea is, that’s how deep it goes if its real.

When somebody needs you, it’s no good unless they need you all the way;

Through the good or lean years, and all the in between years, come what may.

Who knows where the world will lead us, only a fool can say;

But if you let me love you, it’s for sure I’m gonna love you all the way.”

- All The Way. Written by Jimmy Van Heusen, lyrics by Sammy Cahn

Happy 15^th  Anniversary, Handsome.

I love you.

Xo-e