the original housewives

As I was cleaning up the house and tending to Handsome, I caught a glimpse of “Housewives of Orange County” as my husband was flipping through the channels.

“Hold it here a minute”.

I sat on the bed paying attention only to confirm the worthy question of the day.

“Okay, is it me and where I am right now, or do these women look like they are fighting fifty by acting thirty; while morphing their faces and bodies, wearing skimpy dresses, and while admitting they are moms, do not embrace the role?  Does that look good?  Is that what men want us to do?”

Handsome didn’t even look at me (keep in mind he was feeling pretty hazy with 2 Lortabs after a procedure to make sure he was not almost 50 bringing baby number 4 in the mix).  He quietly slurred out

“They look and act ridiculous.”

I continued…

“It just seems like a whole lot of effort to “play 30”, until they turn around and lose all credibility with a 50 year- old ass.”

Not quite sure where that came from.  It wasn’t about insecurity with myself, or personally attacking anyone else; but more about what I remembered growing up in Oak Forest South with the moms that started the whole trend of what was cool, and social, and sexy- all while being thrilled with the role called  “Mom” and embracing the joy that being a mom entailed.

It was a late summer evening- perfectly dark due to the street lamp being out in our cul de sac.  We had a SERIOUS game of WAR going on (a game of teams and strategy; an awesome mix of hide and seek, tag and Marco Polo all wrapped into one awesome game of chasing each other where home base was the single burned out” street light).  It was an intense game and we knew it was getting late when we noticed our moms gathering with lawn chairs sitting in a circle by home base.  They all had t- shirts and cutoffs or sun dresses or swimsuit cover- ups on, but ALL had a cup of their “beverage of choice” in one hand and either a glowing cigarette or a snack in the other. We all loved it when they came out to watch us enjoying ourselves.

The group usually consisted of the following:

1) The Creative Supermom. She has twin boys and two daughters. She loved social events and laughing.  This was the mom who usually organized all the other moms to come out and visit, had ALL the kids over at her house and was the hit among the neighborhood due to “chocolate chip pancakes” or “potato pancakes with applesauce” for dinner.

2) The Culinary Nurse.  She also has twins and an older daughter and son.  She never took any crap from anyone when it came to defending her friends and always amazed how she cooked delicious meals every night without a cookbook, had the table set and ready to eat when her husband came home at night while going nursing school in her late thirties during the day to prove that she would always have something to lean back on if necessary.

3) The Sporty One.  She has a daughter and a son.  The original work out mom.  She loves soccer and was a fierce businesswoman with her own business.  She was never one to sit still- always on the go- always one to tell you what she really thought, no holds barred.

4) The Lake Dweller.  She has 2 boys.  She spent a lot of time sailing and staying in her house on Grand.  Cerebral and encouraging, she had the perfect Grand Lake mentality of knowing how to chill with great conversation and always had GREAT stories for the ones who couldn’t get out much (gasping and shaking heads were a given).

5) The Doctors Wife.  She has a daughter and a son. She always seemed like she was either very shy or very angry.  She never really said much, but was always willing to soak in the banter among the other moms and they enjoyed her presence.  We were pleasantly surprised when we saw her smile and it was usually around the company of these women.

These five women were the originals…The Housewives of Oak Forest South.

They were wives, mothers, and ultimately friends with a genuine interest in one another and their children.  They were never tardy to the party planning cd release parties and guest appearances at outdoor concerts.  Their spa day usually happened AFTER they picked up the kids from dance class or soccer practice.  These were casual conference calls about their husbands, children’s activities, birthday parties, bridge parties, housecleaning and the weekend’s plans.  Injustices in the world were discussed gracefully when it came to living up the “supermom” mentality.  I’m sure there were many tragedies and “behind closed door” discussions; but ironically compared to today’s drama network, we (the kids) never heard about them- we weren’t supposed to.  They kept their housewife drama inside the circle and that circle was never broken. It was not a constant cat fight. It was not a “front and center soap box” complaining to deaf and numbed ears, but a true support system. This was their Skype, Facebook, The Village, and The Blog before the internet was just a slight whisper.

Although I was just a child trying to get to home base before the huge neighborhood boy pummeled me in the process, I always go back to these five women.   I think of what I learned from them and how I apply those lessons to my role as being a mom.  It was not always rosy being raised among this group of dynamics, but it made me who I am today.  I remember pieces of each persona respectfully, wanting to honor them in a way.  I refer to them often as I form my own circle of friends; while trusting my friends’ example and what lessons they can offer to my kids, and so on….

….because they too, will remember.